You’ve seen some prime examples of remakes that should never have been made in a previous article we wrote. But just like that insatiable mistress we just mentioned, you can’t get enough either, so we hope you enjoy some more remakes you’d do well to avoid.
Jacob's Ladder (2019)
The original 1990 film "Jacobs Ladder" was a critically acclaimed surreal psychological thriller film that went on to inspire future filmmakers.
The same cannot be said for the 2019 "Jacob's Ladder" remake. It's regarded as one of the worst remakes ever made due to its hollow plot and lack of character. The film was such a flop that Rotten Tomatoes dubbed it "A needless remake that quickly loses sight of the themes that elevated the original, this is a 'Jacob's Ladder' that leads straight to nowhere."
While the 1987 "Overboard" featuring real-life love birds Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russel was a smash hit, its 2018 remake should've been thrown... overboard in our opinion.
The remake attempted to breathe new life into the story by gender-swapping the characters. Despite the creative attempt, the film's acting and the script just didn't hold up to the original.
Stephen King's bone-chilling novel was successfully adapted into 1976's "Carrie." The film cemented itself in Hollywood horror film history as one of the greats. It then remains unclear why on earth anyone would attempt to try to resurrect such a classic. Even King himself asked, "Why, when the original was so good?”
The 2013 reboot couldn't fill the massive (bloody) shoes left behind by Sissy Spacek's exceptional performance.
Lion King (2019)
Rebooting the iconic Disney animated film "The Lion King" sounded like a good idea...in theory at least. However, the final live-action result was sadly underwhelming.
Critics slammed the film as lacking in soul and missing the message of the original animated classic. This was made even worse by the CGI animated lions that were almost too realistic to properly show the animated emotions that audiences have become accustomed to. While Hakuna Matata means "no worries" perhaps filmmakers should've had less Hakuna Matata when making the film.
The Great Gatsby (2013)
The classic piece of American literature, F. Scot Fitzgerald's "The Great Gatsby", has never had much luck when adapted for the screen. However, Baz Lurman's reboot of the novel and the 1974 film adaption was a major disappointment to Gatsby fans the world over.
While the cast, screenplay, and costumes were critically acclaimed, it was Lurman's over-reliance on unnecessary and garish CGI that left audiences feeling bewildered, but not in a good way.
Tomb Raider (2018)
In an attempt to bring (an already flawed) Lara Croft back to life, 2018's reboot of "Tomb Raider" fell short due to its less than mediocre script.
This reboot was a great disappointment especially as most critics and fans praised Alicia Vikander's performance as the new Tomb Raider. However, it seems that not even someone as agile and intelligent as Lara Croft could give this film enough oomph.
When a Stranger Calls (2006)
The original 1979 "When A Stranger Calls" was a horror hit because of its rather terrifying twist. However, the problem with rebooting a horror film is that audiences already know the twist is coming which makes for an un-scary and bland film.
Perhaps the scariest thing about the 2006 film was its abysmal reviews and 9% Rotton Tomato rating.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)
Bad CGI? Check. Weak storyline and script? Check. Pandering to audiences' sense of nostalgia? Double check. This remake of the popular cartoon was clearly just for profit's sake and left audience members disappointed.
The only positive to come out of this film was that it marked the reunion between director Michael Bay and actress Megan Fox public falling out following the "Transformers" franchise.
Who would've thought that a film about a ginormous dinosaur terrorizing a city would be so beloved that it would spawn 30 REBOOTS!
The film was yet another over-bloated blockbuster filled with big explosions and questionable CGI leaving critics and audience goers wondering if 30 Godzilla films are MORE than enough.
The Saint (1997)
Val Kilmer plays an international spy and super thief named Simon Templar. Nicknamed “The Saint,” like the title of the movie, he runs into some roadblocks pulling off a heist for a Russian billionaire. The original British TV spy series with the same name is said to have inspired the James Bond character.
What went wrong? Kilmer was too human, too prone to emotion, to be a super spy. His "accent" isn’t an accent as much as it is just an alteration of his normal voice. He undoubtedly deserved his worst actor Razzie Award nomination.
“Scooby-Doo” was one of the greatest cartoons on television. Produced by Hanna-Barbera animation studios, Scooby and Shaggy, Fred, Daphne, and Velma, solve a mystery every Saturday morning.
Why did the adaptation miss? This remake disappoints across the board. Trading cartoon animation for a live-action movie was an unfortunate move. It is awkward and unfunny, and the charm of the original gang was sacrificed. Freddie Prinze, Jr. was even nominated for a Razzie. As Scooby would say..."Ruh Roh."
Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" is considered a monumental achievement in film history. In 2010, an independent film based on Alfred Hitchcock's masterpiece, called "Birdemic: Shock and Terror" was released.
Arguably any attempt to remake a Hitchcock classic is futile, however, this film somehow managed to turn out even worse than predicted. The film has some of the worst effects ever seen and is often parodied for its horrible acting.
Yogi Bear (2010)
Yogi Bear is such an adorable character that it's difficult to accept the film reboot flop. Warner Bros. heartlessly misrepresented Hanna Barbera’s classic Saturday morning cartoon duo.
The underwhelming screenplay and storyline could not even be saved by A-list stars like Dan Aykroyd and Justin Timberlake as Yogi and Boo Boo. “Yogi Bear” was deemed dumber than the average kid's flick. Cover your ears, Yogi!
“Thunderbirds” is an acclaimed 1960s sci-fi TV series about interplanetary space travel and saving the world. It was done with marionette puppets, a then-revolutionary film technique. But then, Jonathan Scott Frakes and Universal got their hands on it and decided to reboot it as a film.
Unsurprisingly, it was a flop! People who were most dissatisfied with this movie were fans of the 1960s TV show. In stark contrast to the awe-inspiring special effects of the original show, the film's special effects were mediocre at best.
The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)
It’s not clear if there was a real need to adapt the mindless 1970s television series “The Dukes of Hazzard” into a movie. But it happened.
Some people liked its low-brow humor combined with Jessica Simpson’s objectified Daisy, but others complained it didn’t stick to the original. Also, stretching it into a movie created a lot of slow scenes, with many parts dragging on. Roger Ebert called it “lame-brained.” Even 70s fans of “The Dukes of Hazzard” were not impressed.
Inspector Gadget (1999)
“Inspector Gadget” was a clever and entertaining 1983 animated television series. And then, Disney decided to do a remake starring Matthew Broderick. Why Disney, why!?
The biggest problem was Matthew Broderick's completely over-the-top acting. Sure the Inspector is supposed to be zany but not THAT much. The movie is also so tedious and dull that not even the gizmos and gadgets could save it.
House of the Dead (2003)
"The House of the Dead" was a popular, on-rails zombie shooting video game. When fans heard that it was going to receive a film adaptation, they were ecstatic, until they found out that the director was going to be none other than Uwe Boll himself.
The movie was ranked the 41st worst film of the 2000s and was overwhelmingly hated by fans just as much as critics.
Max Payne (2008)
This 2008 film is based on a highly successful shooting game franchise by the same name. It features an NYPD detective who finds his family murdered due to a secret conspiracy relating to a drug company. By the time the movie was released and reviews were in, it was clear to everyone that this wasn't going to be a fun ride.
"Max Payne" was panned by critics for having an illogical plot and terrible acting, while the fans hated it because there were almost no similarities between the film and the video game that it was supposedly based on. Even the game's maker, Scott Miller, was a huge critic of the film, citing that the film's story makes him shake his head in bewilderment.
Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
Steven Spielberg’s shark-horror film Jaws became a cult classic and created a massive shark panic when it was first released in the mid-70s, the effects of which are still felt to this day. The film has since spawned some terrible remakes and sequels, however, none are as ridiculous and money-grabbing as "Jaws: The Revenge."
The film is one of the only movies in existence to have ever received a 0% score on Rotten Tomatoes. It's been criticized for being illogical, lacking any tension, and having some of the worst special effects you could find at the time (and that says a lot when you realize it was released in the late ‘80s).
Esteemed director and actor Roberto Benigni attempted to create his own film version of Disney's popular Pinocchio character from the '30s. It's no lie to say that the film was an absolute disaster.
It was ranked as one of the 100 worst reviewed films of the 2000s, and was considered an "unfunny, poorly-made, creepy vanity project." It was also nominated for six Golden Raspberry Awards, with Roberto Benigni winning the Worst Actor award.
Silence of the Hams (1994)
One of the most popular films of the early '90s was the groundbreaking "Silence of the Lambs," featuring Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins in a tense and thrilling psychological thriller. So, of course, somebody tried to make a parody of it.
"The Silence of the Hams" attempted to capitalize on that success. Well, it received a 0% "rotten" rating on Rotten Tomatoes and is considered one of the worst films of all time. It was panned for its poor humor and being creatively bankrupt.
Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007)
Alvin, Simon, and Theodore are a trio of squeaky-voiced chipmunks who originated as an animated musical act in the late 50s. In 2007, the mischievous squeakers were animated in the live-action movie “Alvin and the Chipmunks.”
What could have possibly gone wrong? A better question would be, what didn’t go wrong? The directing is terrible, the acting by the chipmunk’s caretaker, played by Jason Lee, is bad, the jokes are inappropriate and crass, and there is too much adult humor. Did we mention the unbearable squeaking!?
Batman & Robin (1997)
Sure, following in the footsteps of Tim Burton's successful Batman films is no easy feat, but 1997's "Batman & Robin" was just ridiculous.
Studios were putting pressure on producers to make the film more kid-friendly which audiences found to be completely out of touch with Batman's dark and gloomy character. The result? An 11% rating on Rotten Tomatoes!
Beauty and the Beast (2017)
You could say that the reviews for Disney's live-action adaption of the classic "Beauty and the Beast" were more beastly than beautiful.
Critics panned the film for its over-reliance on CGI, Belle's underwhelming golden dress, and lackluster acting by Emma Watson. "The Verge" dubbed the remake as a "long series of wasted opportunities."
The Last Airbender (2010)
Despite a cult following and a lot of hype leading up to its release, there were more than just a few problems with M. Night Shyamalan's take on "The Last Airbender." The main problem, however, stemmed from the poor casting choices as white actors were cast to play characters written to be East Asian and even Inuit.
Following these glaring issues and the ensuing fan revolt, it’s unsurprising that this film was awarded the Golden Raspberry for 2010. With a sadly low 6% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, Roger Ebert, an esteemed critic, salutes the film with the comment: “it was an agonizing experience in every category I can think of.”
Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)
Who doesn't love to see Spock and Captain James T. Kirk venture into space and take on the mysteries of the great unknown? The famous TV Series "Star Trek" had a recent reboot which fans flocked to see.
The controversy centered around a scene in the second installment of the rebooted franchise "Star Trek Into Darkness" in which Dr. Carol Marcus appears in her underwear for no apparent reason. Fans criticized the film for its unnecessary sexualization of the female character. Maybe it times for filmmakers "to boldly go" into their next film without including unnecessary female sexualization!
He's All That (2021)
A day doesn't seem to pass by without a new teen movie packed with Gen-Z stars dropping on Netflix. "He's All That", a rather unremarkable remake of the 90s classic "She's All That", was panned by critics because of TikTok star Addison Rae's atrocious acting ability.
However, the main controversy of the film centered around its puke-worthy product placement. These days, product placement in film and television is, unfortunately, the norm, but it's usually fairly subtle. The movie's product placement was so explicit and in-your-face that even Addison Rae's loyal TikTok following couldn't stomach it.
Kevin Bacon left some rather large dancing shoes to fill in the original 1984 "Footloose." While there's doubt that the 2011 reboot featuring fairly unknown names like Kenny Wormald and Julianne Hough showcased some exceptional dancing talent, the film still missed a step.
Critics panned the film for being TOO similar to the original! The all-too-familiar remake begged the question of why it was even made. Here's an idea, save a bunch of money and just re-release the original next time!
"The sun will come out TOMORROW!" Yes, you will have the iconic song from "Annie" stuck in your head the rest of the day. The 1982 film adaption of the Broadway musical was an automatic classic when it was first released.
The 2014 reboot attempted to bring Annie into contemporary New York. Critics slammed the adaption as "trying too hard to both be and not be the previous Annies." It was so bad that the film WON a Golden Razzie award for "The Worst Remake." Perhaps the reboot shouldn't have come out...tomorrow...
Charlie's Angels (2019)
Ah, the old reboot of a reboot. It can often be a formula for failure. Unfortunately, this was the case with the most recent "Charlie's Angels" film.
The 1970s show and early 2000s film trilogy featuring the Angels were extremely successful among critics and fans alike. The 2019 remake, however, starring Kirsten Stewart with Elizabeth Banks as the director, couldn't live up to its predecessors. Critics argue that the reboot was ill-timed. Audiences had no desire to see the famous trio rebooted.
King Kong (2005)
Trying to remake a cinema classic like 1933's "King Kong" is no easy feat. It's unsurprising then that the 2005 remake failed miserably at filling the rather large (gorilla) footprints of the original. Most critics pen the film's failure on its bizarre casting, particularly Jack Black.
Viewers found him to be out of his element with a dramatic role that had been cast and re-cast for almost a hundred years. Black was unable to drag this remake to anything better than below average.
The Mummy (2017)
"The Mummy" is the worst movie Tom Cruise has ever made, hands down. No contest. As campy as it may be, we can all agree that Brendan Fraser brings charm and lightheartedness to the original mummy franchise. This fact is exactly why "The Mummy" remake that came out in 2017 was an entirely unnecessary addition to the series. Tom Cruise plays Nick Morton, who’s supposed to be the hero, Brendan Fraser type, but ultimately misses the mark.
The character simply doesn’t manage to excite the audience, leaving us lost in a fantasy world that takes itself entirely too seriously. Filmmakers really missed the mark on this one.
Ghost in a Shell (2017)
Nobody can decry Johansson's acting chops, but this was another misstep by casting white actors in Asian roles. "Ghost in the Shell" is a classic piece of anime history, and it was a great opportunity to give a big role to a smaller name. But the producers went with the hot hand, and Johansson starred instead.
Plenty of people wanted the role recast, and thanks to this bad press – and, we have to assume, being not a very good movie – the anime reboot was a commercial and critical flop.
Pretty much the only reason people flocked to watch the "Ghostbusters" remake was to see Chris Hemsworth don a pair of glasses and unleash that fantastic Australian accent. And while Bill Murray’s cameo was kinda cool, it was hard not to overlook the original.
While we had to judge this film as a standalone, it was still hard. The cameos of original actors, the many jokes that were carried forward from the original, and a cover of the "Ghostbusters" theme song…well, maybe it is just a bad remake?
The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
Based on the 1960s TV series with the same name, the rights to "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." were procured by producer John Davis way back in 1994. The Warner Bros. release with director Guy Ritchie premiered in August 2015, more than two decades later.
With Guy Ritchie as director and co-writer, it made sense to be optimistic about the fate of the cool new retro-spy flick. Except it ultimately flopped. While the film delivers visually (as one would expect from a Ritchie endeavor), the Cold-War era spy thriller that saves the world from a secret international crime syndicate did not nestle itself into a niche clever enough for critics. And, up against "Austin Powers" (yet another 60s spy action-thriller comedy), there was tough competition. The film lost $83 million. The budget was $75 million and the box office gross was $109.8 million, rendering "The Man From U.N.C.L.E." a flop.
Fantastic Four (2015)
The 2015 "Fantastic Four" reboot of the 2005 version which was a reboot of the comic book developed by legendary comic icons Jack Kirby and Stan Lee, was a COMPLETE FLOP. Every other Marvel superhero film has blasted the roof off the box office. So what happened?
Critics agree that it starts off pretty good. Unfortunately, they say, characters are underdeveloped, storytelling is weak, and dialogue gets downright corny at times.
Power Rangers (2017)
The "Power Rangers" were incredibly popular both as a 90s TV show and as a 90s phenomenon. In this film version, it’s a gang of misfit teenagers who save the world. High schoolers meeting in detention, these unlikely superheroes are so inclusive they include an autistic and an LGBTQ superhero. The critics were in favor of the cast starring Naomi Scott, R.J. Cyler, Dacre Montgomery, and Becky G. But when it came to the directing and editing, ...not really.
Opening up against "Guardians of the Galaxy," turnout for "Power Rangers" at the box office was thwarted and doomed. In fact, it brought in only $1.2 million on its first day. "Power Rangers," the 2017 movie, lost 76 million dollars. Another complaint was its crude humor and incessant product placements. With a production budget of $100 million dollars and gross sales at $142.3, it’s an official flop.
Conan the Barbarian (2011)
"Conan the Barbarian," a remake of the 1982 cult film of a fictional hero could not get a new generation of viewers on board. Another problem was that while star Jason Momoa had the physique to match that of Arnold Schwarzenegger's original 1982 portrayal, it was as if he was walking with muddy boots on holy grounds.
Schwarzenegger, along with the thick Austrian he still had back then, had become synonymous with the role, and Momoa's portrayal of Conan was nothing less than blasphemous to the fans of the 1982 classic.
Robin Hood (2018)
Those involved in this film's creation insisted that it took a more sophisticated and darker angle than the classic narrative. Well, the public sure didn't find anything spectacular about the reboot. Although it was released at the end of 2018, it still managed to secure a top spot as one of the biggest flops of the year.
Not even a huge name like the Academy-Award-winning actor, Jamie Foxx, was able to save this film. Robin Hood was nominated for three(!) Golden Raspberry Awards, including "awards" for Worst Remake and Work Picture. Movie critics even went as far as calling it a "wasting of the cast". Ouch. Hopefully, we don't see any more modern twists to Robin Hood this year, next year, or better yet, the next decade.
Superman Returns (2006)
Comic book fans had high expectations following the announcement of Brandon Routh’s role as Clark Kent in 2006's "Superman Returns." Routh undoubtedly had the right look, even described by some as similar to a young Christopher Reeve. He’d already appeared in several TV shows, too, and so the bar was set higher than ever.
As it turns out, it was the perfect recipe... for destruction. Routh’s acting appeared stilted and stiff; though, to be fair, it was not as bad as some put it. The movie itself made decent returns at the box office, and a Saturn Award was given to Routh for his role. However, the fans wouldn’t have any of it, seething with disappointment, albeit perhaps unfairly. Call us "super"-stitous, but maybe filmmakers should stop trying to reboot Superman.
The Hitcher (2007)
Redoing the 1986 Hitcher sounds like professional suicide. The iconic film practically made Rutger Hauer’s career. Sean Bean probably only accepted this post-"Lord of the Rings" because he was just bored at home waiting for a call.
The film solely relied on tacky and gory tricks rather than actual plot-based terror.
The Omen (2006)
This John Moore remake turned out to be completely pointless. The shooting was rushed in order for the film to be released on the 6th of June 2006. Yup 06.06.06. This means they probably mistimed production because that could have used (a lot) more tweaking.
That might sound strange seeing as they copied the original practically shot for shot.
Death Race (2008)
This potentially thrilling remake based on the 1975 film turned out to be another Jason Statham vehicle than anything else. It took over five years to greenlight this script and we are not surprised as to why,
The Paul W.S. Anderson rendition is a big disappointment that was stupidly picked up by Universal Studios after Paramount dropped it.
The Grudge (2004)
Sarah Michelle Gellar without the guidance of Joss Whedon proves to be a grim experience. Even though the film sticks to the blueprint of the original Japanese horror film from 2002 entitled Ju-On: The Grudge.
The remake is predictable and lacks that cutting-edge masterful Japanese filmmaking.
Bangkok Dangerous (2008)
Another disastrous remake starring the one and only Nicolas Cage. He deserves his own list to be honest. This original Pang Brothers film dusted up their original Thai script and remade their own film for a broader, ahem, American audience.
Unfortunately for them, Cage does not do it justice, proving to us all that Americans should get used to subtitles and watch more foreign films.
The Japanese horror film "Kairo" was remade for American viewers and called "Pulse." In the original, spirits insidiously sneak their way into people's homes via the internet. The film shows two parallel narratives of characters facing the paranormal intrusion.
In the American remake, the sophisticated story-telling was thrown into the trash and the film relies more on scary imagery than anything else. One critic called it a"dull Americanization of one of the finest examples of subtle, moody J-horror out there." Yikes.
The Haunting (1999)
If we have learned anything from this list, it's that you can't flood a film with special effects and CGI and replace it with a good script and a credible plotline. It takes more than flashy effects to create a good scare.
More importantly, nothing involving Owen Wilson can be haunting. His blond mop should stick to the goofy romantic comedies and stay out of the horror genre.
The Stepfather (2009)
Penn Badgley of "You" fame stars in this one, so brace yourself for some top-notch acting. The film about a guy who grows suspicious of his mom's unusually friendly new boyfriend was trashed by critics.
If you want to watch real tension and psychological horror, go for the 1987 original.
Black Christmas (2006)
It seems eerily coincidental that Bob Calrk, director of the original "Black Christmas" film from 1974 died the same year the new one was released. The glamorized and glossy remake paled in comparison to Clark's film.
The remake depicts everything that can go wrong in horror filmmaking. It made us miss Margot Kidder more than we ever expected.
Swept Away (2002)
Guy Ritchie tried to give Madonna, his then-wife a more legitimate film career by rehashing this old Italian film from 1974. The attempted film boost did not quite pan out as expected and ended up being a total box office flop.
Ritchie should stick to gritty crime dramas and Madonna should stick to pop music. Stay in your lane, folks.
Mr. Deeds (2002)
The 1936 original "Mr. Deeds Goes To Town" is a classic romantic comedy directed by Frank Capra that was reincarnated in 2002, this time with Adam Sandler. He's just one of the many annoying characters in this remake.
The plot goes nowhere and is about as necessary as Longfellow Deeds' frost-bitten foot.
The Ladykillers (2004)
Nothing is safe from money-hungry rebooters. Not even the universally loved 1955 film "Ladykillers." As much we love the Coen brothers, the filmmaking siblings just didn't do this one any justice.
Nothing can compare to the Ealing classic. Not even starring Tom Hanks planning a bank heist. Get your hands on the original. We promise total satisfaction.
Director Gus Van Sant has a great reputation with classics like "Elephant" and "Good Will Hunting" under his belt. Who would have thought he could do any wrong? Tragically he did and took Hitchcock's classic "Psycho" and merely tuned it technicolor.
Not that it's so awful to replicate the original shot for shot. It's just a little pointless. We would think that a director of that caliber would have taken the liberty of adding his personal stamp. Guess he realized that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. He could have taken that sentiment a step further and left the whole thing altogether.
Dinner For Schmucks (2010)
Director Jay Roach wasted the comedic skills of his cast on this film. Steve Carell, we're talking to you especially, Dinner For Schmucks is filled with lazy and juvenile jokes that do not come close to the humor of the original French comedy hit "Le Dîner de Cons."
Total wasted potential. Might we suggest that they redo it one more time just to get it right? Maybe a second attempt will redeem this film.
Ben Hur (2016)
The undisputed classic "Ben Hur" made in 1959 won 11 Academy Awards. To be fair, the 1959 version was a remake of the silent 1925 original, and anything post-silent film era is an automatic improvement. The film had everything drama, romance, and action, all packed into one epic Hollywood marvel.
Then came the 2016 version. It bombed at the box office. No amount of CGI special effects could salvage this disaster. Don't get us started on the bland and wooden dialogue.
Piranha 3D (2010)
We admit, the original "Piranha" was NOT a masterpiece, which begs the question, why even bother with a remake at all? The gratuitous bikini shots are over the top and there is a bizarre underwater love scene that could have been cut.
At least Christopher Lloyd gives us some good entertainment.
The Day The Earth Stood Still (2008)
At least Keanu Reeves has a hard time convincing us that he is human here. It's not that bad though as he portrays a dead-pan alien. Still, the whole overwhelming CGI production totally tanks.
More chaos ensues when we watch Jennifer Connelly and Jaden Smith act terribly as mother and son.
The Pink Panther (2006)
Heaven knows how this became the most successful Pink Panther film ever. Clearly, the hoards of kids who rushed to see it must have thought they were going to see a movie about a literal pink cartoon cat.
We are sure you can imagine the train wreck of a collaboration between Steve Martin and Beyonce. Stick to the Peter Sellers one. It's a classic.
The Women (2008)
Originally a 1930s screwball comedy, this remake attempted to focus on female representation. Unfrotaunetly it did so terribly. Awful writing, no original charm, and little artistic merit, this "upgrade" had little to offer.
Rom-com queen Meg Ryan seemed like a shoo-in for this role, but Annette Benning and Carrie Fisher? We're not sure how they got on board.
Total Recall (2012)
The original 1990 classic follows a construction worker and his disturbing dreams about life on Mars. The film's line between reality and fiction becomes increasingly blurred as he discovers the truth about who he really is.
The 2012 version scraps the Mars thing completely and gives us Colin Farrell and his VR experience as a secret agent on another planet in a dystopian future. Impressive production value but a weak sense of drama.
The Wicker Man (2006)
At least Nicolas Cage makes us laugh in this one. Unfortunately, it's not on purpose. This hilariously awful remake succeeds in depicting an even more outrageous Christopher Lee original.
Even the director Robin Hardy completely distanced himself from the film post-release. Watch it if you want a good laugh, but nothing more.
The Vanishing (1993)
You would think that with the amount of remake horror films churned out year after year, the upgraded versions would be a guaranteed hit. Clearly not so. This remake of the 1988 Franco-Dutch film just does not end with the same kind of punch.
Watching Kiefer Sutherland obsess over the disappearance of his girlfriend Sandra Bullock makes you pray for everyone to just disappear. Three years later Jeff Bridges 'fesses up. We recommend you skip this one.
Walking Tall (2004)
Anything starring Dwayne Johnson is a guaranteed cash cow. Of course, that also means the plot takes second fiddle. The former wrestler playing a former US Army Special Forces sergeant is thankfully not much of a stretch for the actor.
As with all more current-day action films, they tend to be filled with the noise pollution of gunfire, yelling, and explosions and yet somehow still surprisingly dull.
Friday The 13th (2009)
This remake tried to fit in an entire "Friday The 13th" franchise rather than make one coherent remake. You can find a little bit of everything thrown into the mix. If you're looking for a lame abridged version of the entire franchise, then this might for you.
If you're looking to actually enjoy the films, then we suggest that you actually watch all of them...well except this one.
Another Michael Caine classic that unfortunately didn't stand the test of time. The film came out smack bang in the middle of Jude Law's marriage scandals. You would think that would give it an edge, but unfortunately, it did not. Or perhaps we could just blame the film itself and not the timing.
The film got a slight upgrade in terms of modern relationship dynamics but tries to keep it a little too moral, making the whole experience feel a little insignificant.
Day of the Dead (2005)
The original "Day of the Dead" was a gory film but succeeded in adding smart commentary and pathos to all the bloodiness. The 2008 edition however somehow missed the memo and opted for more violence than substance. All in the style of cheap special effects.
The zombies are also for some reason not very zombie-like and more like intelligent superhumans who just terrorize humans.
Herbie: Fully Loaded (2005)
Lindsay Lohan's career started to tank right after the release of this movie. We don't want to be over conclusive but it feels like a remake of a talking racing Volkswagen didn't help her in the right direction.
Starring in this lame rehashed Disney film somehow got her nominated for Teen Choice Award. Perhaps competition was weak that year.
We'll hand to Nora Ephron for trying something a little different by not giving us an exact replica of the 1960s sitcom. The film got a kind of meta addition to it with Will Ferrell's character looking for an actress to play his witch wife in the film within the film.
Sadly, the script seemed to reach too high and probably would have been better off keeping to the original straightforward concept. It's super hard to strike the balance. Then again, no one forced them to make a remake.
Straw Dogs (2011)
If you're going to recreate an original, wouldn't you strive to make it a little more interesting than the first one? Apparently not. Rod Lurie’s remake of the Sam Peckinpah 1971 film "Straw Dogs" lost all the controversy and rawness of the original.
The rather gory addition does offer a slight payoff. We wonder what the conversation went with Dustin Hoffman when considering launching this reboot. Was he even considered? He definitely would have scoffed at that.
We will begin by saying that this film got a pathetic 3% on Rotten Tomatoes. While the original itself was barely impressive, it actually completely towers this film. Why remake an already bad film? We will never know.
Perhaps they thought some more modern lighting and 2000's Chris Klein would do well as a remake. They were poorly mistaken. We should forget about this confusing and aggressive waste of a film altogether.
Prom Night (2008)
While the Jaime Lee Curtis original seems a little dated these days, it still totally trumps this sell-out of a remake starring Brittany Snow. No one has anything on the amazing original 80s scream queen.
We would take the outdated disco ball and puffy pink dresses over Brittany Snow in that predictable slasher film any day. What a completely unnecessary remake.
One Missed Call (2008)
Cellphone-driven horror movies always proved to be a big hit among audiences looking for their next fright fix. Unfortunately this time the scares didn't quite go as well as planned. The rehashed film based on the 2004 Japanese film by director Chakushin Ari is FAR superior.
The film was ripped apart by critics and viewers alike and has been pinned as the worst J-horror redo ever made. Our advice? Just miss that call, please.
Guess Who (2005)
The classic film originally called "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner" was a breakthrough comedy-drama filled with political commentary on racial dynamics. It starred the legendary Sidney Poitier, Katherine Hepburn, and Spencer Tracy.
The 2005 remake turned the film into a boring slapstick rom-com that seemed to tiptoe around the very subject matter it attempted to portray.
Get Carter (2000)
No one can compete with the coolness of Michael Caine in the original British crime drama "Get Carter." Unfortunately not even Sylvester Stallone. His tough-guy persona brought a different flavor to the remake.
He may be able to look good in a suit and holding a gun, but he just cannot achieve the emotional richness of the masterful Caine and his London gangster persona.
After her killer performance in "Chicago," as Mama Morton, Queen Latifah committed career suicide when she went behind the wheel as the whacky taxi driver in the American remake of Taxi. American remake? Yep, you might be surprised to find out that it was originally a French series of classic comedy films directed by Luc Besson.
The post-SNL Jimmy Fallon didn't add much either. In the film's defense, it did make quite a lot of cash. Critically though, it tanked.
The slightly upgraded Michael Myers mask clearly did not cut it. Rob Zombie took John Carpenter's seminal horror film and turned the infamous psycho-killer into a total bore. He also added in this total unnecessarily back story, destroying the mystery around the notorious masked murderer.
Of course, Rob Zombie, being the disturbed metalhead he is had to try to come and give his personal little twist to things. Unfortunately, he didn't succeed in amping up the fear factor.
It's Alive (2008)
Larry Cohen, the creator of the original film as well as one of the writers of the remake has even commented on how awful this version is. The film follows the ridiculous story of a newborn serial killer.
Cohen reportedly said “It's just beyond awful. I would advise anybody who likes my film to cross the street and avoid seeing the new enchilada.” I think we should listen to the man.
The Italian Job (2003)
The film that glorified the Mini Coopers did not give us much else. Oh, and there was the addition of the incredible Charlize Theron that made things a little more tolerable, but all in all, "The Italian Job" was not all like its masterful original.
The film didn't even manage to get Michael Caine back into production. It's no wonder that the sequel The Brazillian Job has still not been given the green light.
City Of Angels (1998)
Wim Wenders’ 1987 film "Wings Of Desire," originally a German film was recreated for Nicole Cage and Meg Ryan. Why? We don't know. With the Hollywood money, the film managed to produce heavenly choirs and panoramic views that were really just cheesy more than anything else.
The original film that was filled with pathos turned out to be over-sentimental trash. What did you expect?
A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010)
Robert Englund IS Freddy Krueger. You can't force Jackie Earle Haley into this reboot and expect it to work, no matter how good the actor is.
The tone in the remake is completely off. It's melancholic, not scary. Have fun with it.
Around The World In 80 Days (2004)
Steve Coogan AKA Inventor Phileas and his sidekick Jackie Chan (Jean Passepartout) Fogg try to make us laugh in this silly remake of "Around The World In 80 Days." The movie was drastically changed with very little of the original magic still there.
The film barely made any money at the box office and blew Coogan's shot at crossing over into Hollywood success from quaint little English films.
It was torturous enough watching Russell Brand play another obnoxious role. We also had to watch the beloved Dudley Moore classic get turned into a corny modern joke of a film.
How Helen Mirren got on board with this one, we will never know. At least it's where Greta Gerwig got her mainstream start so we can't hate that movie too much!
The Wolfman (2010)
Universal Studios was so obsessed with recreating one of their treasured box office hits that they didn't seem to care what direction it was going in. As long as it had the name and some vague connection to its 1941 classic, that seemed to be enough for them.
The movie ended up being an unrecognizable eye-sore of a film that even Anthony Hopkins couldn't fix.
House of Wax (2005)
This time we have two remakes. The original film from 1933 was brought back to life in a 1953 version "House of Wax." The film is about a psychotic sculptor who turns subjects into actual wax statues that scared the bejeebers out of everyone back then. Of course, that wasn't enough and in 2005, they decided to do it all over again.
The remade film got a teen slasher (waxer?) facelift that relied purely on cheap scares. It was also the film that gave Paris Hilton the opportunity to show off her... incredible... acting chops.
The 1972 film "The Poseidon Adventure" was a classic American disaster film that dazzled viewers in the 70s. The highly imaginative film brought was brought back to "life" in a noisy and overbearing 2006 remake.
The storyline of angry family members plastered against unimpressive CGI effects was not worth it. Not to mention the casting of Fergie. Why?
Overly polished and dumbed down, the remake of "Fame" took a gritty and raw film about art school students in the 80s and trashed it. The energy completely vanished in this film.
As critic Roger Egbert said it perfectly. "The new 'Fame' is a sad reflection of the new Hollywood, where the material is sanitized and dumbed down for a hypothetical teen market that is way too sophisticated for it."
The Stepford Wives (2004)
The soap opera comedy series "Desperate Housewives" does a better job of portraying modern-day suburban shenanigans than the actual remake of "The Stepford Wives."
The remake did, however, manage to get a killer cast on board (Glenn Close, Christopher Walken, Nicole Kidman.) Even with that, the kitschy remake is over the top. You would be doing yourself a favor skipping it.
The Fog (2005)
We at least had a pretty face to look at. Remember that hunky teen Superman from "Smallville?"Tom Welling, yes. We suppose that he was the greatest thing about this remake of the 1980 cult classic from iconic director John Carpenter.
Director Rupert Wainwright tried to recreate the spookiness using special effects. While it did add some eeriness, the film would have been better off untouched.
Planet of the Apes (2001)
The great filmmaker Tim Burton rarely messes up. He's made some fantastic films so we will allow him one slip up. Unfortunately, it had to be the classic film Planet of The Apes that he royally destroyed in the year 2001.
Apparently no amount of makeup, effects, and just generally modern movie techniques added anything. Sometimes nothing can compare to the simplicity of an original piece. We won't even get into the awful "twist" that ended the movie.