While central states of America have their fair share of car fads, such as the aforementioned bro trucks, these are not nearly as common and annoying as the Eastern states’ fad of putting various political and personal stickers on the back of their cars. There is not a single person in the world who ever saw a political sticker and thought “Hey! I’m going to vote for that guy!”. Not a single political opinion was ever changed, and not a single person ever thought you were cooler for having a sticker that tells a funny knock-knock joke or tells the world what you like to eat.
This fad is almost exclusively found in Canada and North America, and we would be more than happy to see it go away altogether. People who drive behind you don’t care about your environmental opinions, your political leanings, where you went to school, or what you think about yourself – they just want to get to wherever they’re going and by putting on a sticker – you’ve labeled yourself as a someone we don’t want to see on the road. Ever.
Your Car A Little Too Shiny
Some people treat their cars like celebrities treat their faces in films. There definitely is such a thing as an overly-shiny vehicle, where it would appear that the vehicle's owner spends more time making sure his car is polished and beautiful than they do on more important activities like being great husbands, parents, or earning money.
It's almost unbelievable that these men consider the obsessive cleaning of their car as "manly" while laughing at women who have to check every 30 minutes that their makeup is well applied. Car owners like this remind us of King Xerxes from Zac Snyder's film 300. The villain was often mocked for being a very metro-sexual guy and having way too much bling and earrings. If you don't mind giving out this image, fine, but just be aware that you'll never be allowed to criticize anyone for being obsessed with their beauty if you don't want to be labeled a hypocrite ever again.
Transparent Fiberglass To Show Off Your Speakers
So you went ahead and paid thousands of dollars for that completely useless overqualified pair of speakers we discussed earlier, fine. Enjoy ruining your hearing and making neighbors feel very uncomfortable. Some people like to take their fad a step further though, and add a horrendous visual element to their already terrible audio device. They do this by adding invisible fiberglass interiors which directly show the speakers, allowing you to see the full glory of your money badly spent.
We guess the idea is that if you're going to spend a lot of money on speakers that you're not even going to use, why not at least let the world know that you have the ability to make windows explode with your high-decibel sounds. This is just the second level of an already bad mistake, like when you have a bad day because you showed up late for work, and then you also proceed to yell at your boss to make things even worse.
Faking That Patina
As cars grow older and mature, they start getting patina on their bodies. This type of vehicular degradation tells a beautiful and compelling story of the car's long life and experience. It's almost like the appreciation that you get for being battle-scarred and full of grey hair, and since cars are somewhat built to remind us of people's faces, it only stands to note that we subsequently give vehicles with patina a certain trait of wisdom.
However, when you take a relatively new car and put a patina coat on it, it's almost like painting your hair and beard grey just to appear older and smarter. Everyone can clearly see through this fake stunt, and you end up looking young and stupid. Sorry, but it's quite clearly visible that your 3-year-old Audi A3 does not have patina, especially not on its plastic bits. Our next fad will annoy anyone who has a working sense of hearing and a common sense of decency. You probably already know exactly what we’re talking about...
Armor Plated Vehicles
The only car owners that should have armor plates on their cars are derby drivers and secret agents that have to protect very important people from being shot at. We're not even talking about the fact that most of these armor platings are just fake stickers - of course, but the point being is - unless you're expecting a bullet to be fired your way in the near future, making your car look like something taken out of the film Mad Max: Fury Road, is an absolute waste of your time and of everyone's attention.
These steel platings make your car look weird, clunky, and a lot less appealing. When the apocalypse finally arrives and humanity will have to fight through vehicular warfare to survive, we'll be right there with you with these armor platings. Up until then, it would probably be best to drive your car like a normal person and not simulate a World War III fighting scenario.