If you’ve ever wondered what your cat thinks about you, this rant comes pretty close we think. Not like we presume to know the mind of cats. We wouldn’t dare. That kind of audacity is a sure-shot way of getting bit. Still, the world needs more sassy house cats spilling the beans on humans.
The reviews are 100% honest and mince no words – ideal for guests who like to know what they’re walking into! Nobody likes nasty surprises at dinner. The doormat might in fact be too small for all the things this cat needs to get off its furry chest.
Shut It
Are you finding that folks are a little loud and annoying? Well, this mat makes perfect use of a little wordplay to tell you to "zip it." It works both in that way and also when someone is leaving your home after a visit. Yes, in fact, they do need to "shut the front door," and in more ways than one!
We absolutely love how the letters are in all caps and the font is like something out of an old tavern from a wild west movie. Talk about "the good, the bad, and the plain ol' hilarious." Use it wisely!
Never Forget a Thing
Say hello to the cutest and most functional doormat you've ever laid eyes on! The endearing checklist ensures you'll never forget the essentials when you leave your house. Tick off each item on the checklist, and you're all set to conquer the day!
Whether you're a busy mom juggling a thousand tasks, a professional on the go, or someone who's just a tad forgetful (we all are sometimes!), everyone needs this doormat! Now the only problem is actually remembering to read the list because we know how that goes every time! Write a list. Instantly forget about it. Without fail.
This Isn't a Raid...
It's always helpful to have a nice tuneful doorbell. If you don't have that, well, one just resorts to knocking. However, just a gentle knock will suffice. You really don't need to bang the door down. Perhaps these folks had some run-in with the law in the past and have since been traumatized.
There are some neighborhoods in America where doors are routinely getting knocked out. So maybe, just maybe, officers of the law will be a bit more considerate when they are given a search warrant and want to break into a suspect's home. Police need manners too, you know!
How to Lose Friends and Alienate People
Who needs small talk when you have a doormat that sparks conversations? Your friends, neighbors, and delivery men won't be able to resist chuckling at this clever wordplay. It has the potential to become the talk of the block! Face it, we’ve all been there.
Remember those painful dinners, a smile plastered for your guests when all you want is for everyone to leave? Worry no more because this doormat’s got your back. If you can’t bring yourself to just tell people to leave, silently point at the doormat next time. Message received, loud and clear!