Kind of a shame that this is the world we live in now. Somebody is just trying to put up a poster, and it gets torn in half. Apparently, there is a large reward, so we’ll keep our eyes peeled. We’ll just have to call the number – oh.
Well, we’re not sure what to do at this point. How can we collect our reward for finding the other half of the poster if there’s no phone number? Guess we’ll have to connect the two pieces like a puzzle.
Missing Beard
A travesty. A true tragedy. Tell everyone! If any of us here had this beard, we would never rest until it had been returned. Spread the word! The perfect curl, the waxed locks, the fine, gold color.
We hope that every telephone and power pole in the city has a copy of this sign on it. If enough people get the word out, someone out there will be able to bring this missing beard home.
We Want to Meet This Guy
We aren't experts when it comes to these kinds of animals, so this could be an alpaca or a llama, or maybe even a goat, but we do know some things about this friendly pet. His name is Turtle – great name for an animal like that – and he was last seen on May 13th.
We'll be sure to call the listed number if we happen to catch sight of this little fellow. This one is weird – we can't tell if it's a gag or not.
He's Just Bragging
A little bit of judicious bolding, and this poster seems to be talking about how somebody lost a bunch of DVDs and is offering a reward for them.
A second glance reveals this isn't the case at all – the person who put the sign up is just excited to get to watch such a well-regarded show for the first time. If you want to watch along, you can call the number. We promise this is the last “Lost” joke.
Anything is Possible in Boston
Apparently, this person has lost his domesticated walrus. It goes by the name of Tuskie and is slim and trim at only 325 pounds. The original owner offers a cash reward for information that will lead to the recovery of Tuskie, so stay alert.
How fast must a walrus move to get away, especially if it was just running down Massachusetts Avenue? As the poster says, they have a max speed of thirty-four miles per hour, which is terrifying.