We’re starting to wonder if this guy doesn’t have a phone or anything. Maybe this is just the way he communicates with all his friends. They’ve all been hounding him to see “Top Gun,” and this is the only way he has to let them know that, yes, he will see it.
Were people really worried about this? This guy seems like the kind of person who goes to see every movie that comes out but doesn’t talk about them at all unless you bring them up. We guess there are worse kinds of people. Note: when you are finished with Top Gun, you have got to watch “Top Gun: Maverick.”
There’s No Way to Classify
So you're flipping through stories on your Instagram or whatever new social media has all the kids under its sway these days, and you see something that makes you wrinkle your nose. But you've just told that person or business that you saw the story. Uh oh. Maybe they think you're actually interested in the sort of disgusting thing that they've posted. No, certainly not. Keep that stuff to yourself.
Even worse, now the platform itself might think you're interested and show you more! This is even worse since now you have to either stomach it when it pops up again or go in and manually tell the platform you aren't interested.
Let the Man Rest
We love to see a little bit of meta-humor when it comes to an account on Instagram like this one. He's been holding up so many signs for so long, no wonder he's sore. There are plenty of exercises one can do to make that sort of motion easier, though. We'll start you off with some classic presses, move on to Arnold presses, and maybe do some lateral lifts and some rows.
We will get you cut, Dude. You will be the strongest professional cardboard sign holder the world has ever seen. Not like...that will be all that difficult. We think there are, like, two.
After the Age of Seven, It Is Improper
Hard agree with the Dude on this one. Whether it's daddy's little princess at the age of twenty-eight or some weird sexualization that has taken over the minds of the next generation like a parasite, the word daddy has a shelf life that has been ignored.
If you're still using it when you hit an age that has double-digits and your hair is no longer one solid shade of brown, it's time to cut it out. We're not saying it has to go away forever, but it shouldn't be the main way you refer to your father. Just go with Dad. Or throw it back to Pops. That's classy.
I Just Want to Be in a Pool
Pretty hot out, y'know. Really getting up there in the temps. Hey, that's a nice pool you have, it looks like it'd be pretty fun to take a dip at the end of the day. What's that? Yeah, I did happen to bring my swimsuit and pool towel. Oh, no, I bring them everywhere I go, just in case there's an opportunity for some fun in the water.
No, no, I swear, I bring them everywhere. Well, yes, I'm carrying them with me right now, so what? I didn't know you had a pool, really. A friend with a pool. The best a man ( or any one actually) can get.