Once you have a decade or two under your belt, you know how to recognize blood on sight. It might be sooner for some, but eventually, we’ve all had enough time on this earth to know what is pumping through our veins.
Unless you’re young and/or drunk, you can pretty easily recognize the substance that guy is wearing as something you put on bread. He wanted to impress his girl – we assume – and have her come over to help him out, but she wasn’t buying it. He’ll have to clean himself up. And maybe take out that earring at the same time.
What if I Went at Night?
Lots of people have used text conversations to try to get ahead in their love lives – everybody, truth be told, as long as they're still in the game. This guy (we assume it's a guy because...I mean, come on) decided to shoot his shot, but he didn't get anywhere near his target, who was prepared with the perfect comeback.
It seems as if this potential beau wasn't feeling the heat, but don't worry my man, there are always big, burning balls of gas in the sea. No, wait.
He Was the Star of the Show
Trying to convince someone you are or aren't drunk is a losing proposition a hundred percent of the time. If you are drunk, all they have to do is something like flick your forehead and it will be pretty clear.
And people who know what it's like to be drunk can tell at a moment's notice if you're trying to fake it. And then there's this guy, who gave away the game by chatting up a spud instead of a bud. The best part is the toy in “Toy Story” wasn't even a real potato, it was just a Mr. Potato Head.
All Worth It
This was quite the setup, and we can be pretty sure that White was upset, but that's a little too bad, isn't it? We might pay two hundred dollars to see this actually happen, but whatever Blue was selling had a much higher price point.
He even stated it right there in the text message at seven hundred. White seemed to think that less than a third of that was a good comeback, and Blue took him on a wild ride so he could get the laughs that joke deserved. Well, we all got a good laugh out of it, anyway.
A Double-Cross for the Ages
Another wrong number, another chance to have some fun with someone who is about to be a little disappointed. This person, who definitely isn't Tina (or maybe it is? No. Couldn't be) decides instead to send a picture of him with his cats in order to soften the blow of the wrong number.
He even goes for the head fake by saying yeah, it is actually me, Tina. But it was just the setup for another letdown. At least the letdown came with another picture of a cat. We aren't always so lucky.