Who knows exactly what happened to make this kind of message necessary, but apparently it involved a lot of crying. Spicy crying. Did you know that eating spicy foods improves your mood? It’s true!
You may be familiar with something called serotonin, which helps your body naturally reduce depression and stress. Well, eating spicy foods boosts your body’s production of this substance. It’s produced in response to the spicy heat, which the body interprets as pain. It gets pretty complicated after that, but if you’re feeling down, try some jalapenos. And if you’re drunk, text your mom, not an ex.
That One Kind of Friend
There are lots of worse people than this friend, who seems to have a never-ending number of requests about this or that or the other thing. Everything from adopting a cat to using someone as a job application even though they haven't seen each other in five years.
However, the constant asker seems to take all of the negative answers in stride. Is this an intentional tactic to deal with one of the many, many issues that this person has, or is it just him trying to get out from under all the work he has to do?
It's Like a Ladder
Every episode builds upon the next one. You can't just start at who knows where in the middle and think that he'll understand all the nuanced character choices and political drama that's going on. Plus there's all the killing. Lots and lots of killing. Just, like, so much killing. Wait until he's six, at least. By then he'll be into “Spongebob Squarepants,” and that's pretty much just as violent.
Are there any other problems with that idea? Nah, we can't think of any. In the meantime, we recommend a white noise machine. They do wonders.
We Are All Scared Now
Don't mess with moms. They've been putting up with your monkey business for far too long, and clever stuff like this, funny as it is, might not fly. Mom only has so many hours in the day trying to keep you alive, well-fed, and happy, so don't go antagonizing her.
And it looks like this conversation just got in the way of her shopping at Target. You went and disturbed Mom at her happy place with something you knew would make her pull a face, so don't be surprised if you get grounded when you're home.
Like Ships, Passing in the Night
You might not recognize it, but we see a lot of phone numbers while we're driving through town. They're so ubiquitous, that we don't even register them anymore unless we're specifically looking for them. But if you are looking for them, you might be able to end up making a friend, even if it's the kind of relationship that lasts a mere four text messages.
Still, having the guts and temerity to reach out and connect with someone just because you're suffering through the same kind of traffic is nice to see in this day and age.