Hey now, eggs are great. They’re high in protein, they taste great, and they’re surprisingly low in calories as long as you don’t add things like cheese or butter. Sure, they might not be the best thing for your cholesterol, but there are lots of other bad things, and you need some cholesterol, anyway.
But, this person must have gotten some of the information scrambled when he started meal planning, picking up chocolate eggs instead of the chicken kind. Remember all those good things you just learned about eggs? The chocolate variety doesn’t have any of that.
Tooting to the Beat
Of course, someone named Dave would pull this at a restaurant. Daves tend to focus on their music most of all, even if it means embarrassing themselves in a public place. This particular Dave must have really been rocking out if he didn't remember that his music was coming from his headphones and not from speakers on the ceiling.
We have to assume that he was listening to some of his favorite Bossa Nova songs, or maybe a little bit of Louis Anderson if he thought that his gas was going to escape notice. At least something with a tuba.
Just Wait. He'll Get It Eventually
Try this the next time you're busy with a project and don't want to get dragged into a long text convo with someone who doesn't know the meaning of “do not disturb.” It's not the kind of tactic that will work for everybody, but don't be surprised if even one of your smarter friends falls for it.
Of course, you still run the risk of meeting up for the next time and having your friend slap you across the head. Or, maybe it will be the kind of thing that you can use over and over for the most oblivious of pals.
Lessons From the Master
It seems like this is the kind of thing that Kevin knows a little too much about, which means you should take everything he says with a grain of salt. Also, is that actually trolling? We're pretty sure that trolling is purposefully getting someone angry, and that's not what this is.
This seems more like just pulling a prank on someone who is already nervous. But anybody who knows much about roller coasters is aware that they don't really use nails anymore – unless they're riding a really old wooden coaster. These days it's mostly nuts and bolts and screws.
They're the Most Fun
As long as they're the right kind of drunk, having a few drunk friends can sometimes be the best. As long as they don't stick someone's expensive electronics inside a blender. In case you've forgotten, a blender is a tall bowl that is full of blades, and it's made to chop things into little bits.
They're a lot more interesting when you think about them that way. Jake knew this even after having a few, and he also managed to have a clever quip while he was getting up to his mischief. It's a great joke, there's no denying it.