We thought Bolero was bad, but it seems that John Derek just can’t stay away from producing bad films. Again, another film about sex from an equally perturbed place. IMDb’s synopsis says it all: “Elderly Scott kills himself after a heart attack wrecks his body, but then comes back as a ghost and convinces his loving young hot wife Kate to pick and kill a young man in order for Scott to possess his body and be with her again.” If that isn’t enough to turn your stomach, then you’re on your own!
So, an old pervert is with a hot young bird who apparently loves him, he kills himself because you know, he can’t “do it” anymore and can’t “enjoy” his young wife. One second, a bit of projectile vomiting coming up. Do we have to continue? This film is cringing enough.
1992: Shining Through
We love Rotten Tomatoes for its brutal honesty. The synopsis begins: “Kewpie-doll voiced Melanie Griffith does a sexed-up Nancy Drew turn in David Seltzer’s adaptation of Susan Isaac’s novel Shining Through.” R-rated, for Razzie, the film took the top prize in 1992. Even with a saucy Melanie Griffith and the handsome Michael Douglas, the film sees a somewhat predictably “unpredictable” story set in the years of World War II. Yawn.
We weren’t the only ones who thought it either. The most disappointing part about this film was the fact that it had the potential to be something great – if it had remained true to the novel. Focusing more on the sex appeal than the script, this film’s Razzie was well deserved.
1991: Hudson Hawk
Everyone’s favorite action hero, Bruce Willis showed us, exactly why he’s an action hero and not a comedy star. Even though later on, in films like Cop Out, it seems he eventually found the world’s funny bone. Anyway, back to the steaming mess that was Hudson Hawk, sure, the premise seems entertaining: former jailbird is released from prison, just wants a good cappuccino before – oops, let’s do a few heists!
The “comedy” ensues from that point on. Yeah, go figure. In a somewhat ironic twist, the film was released just after Die Hard 2, so fans expected an action blockbuster. Boy, they must have felt they were in the wrong cinema when Hudson Hawk started! With a sizeable budget of $65 million US, the film bombed, taking only $17 million at the box office. No one was yippee ki-yay-ing, that’s for sure!
1989: Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
So, before we even get started on this installment in the Star Trek universe, firstly we need to establish: A) it’s 1989, the tech just ain’t as good as these days, and B) Oh wait, Star Wars was produced earlier than this and still managed to be decent for its time, C) Okay never mind, continue with awarding the Golden Raspberry.
The producer himself even remarked that he thought the film “nearly killed the franchise.” But reviews on Rotten Tomatoes show variety – Trek fans weren’t too happy with it, critics were indifferent, and some even enjoyed it, but on the whole, it seems there should’ve been a little more time dedicated to developing the story. It makes sense, considering the plotline involved Spock betraying Kirk.
Ah, a young Tom Cruise. Nowadays he’s a hot-shot action movie star, but the actor of Top Gun fame was riding the celebrity train in the 80s. Cocktail was one of the many films the budding young actor released during that period. Featuring the song “Kokomo”, the film focuses on the life of a college student who works as a bartender to pay for his education. He works and works and then – oh wait, that’s it.
Lola Borg of Empire remarks “Cruise oozes as much charm as in Top Gun and The Colour of Money, but the mix of bar-acrobatics and Caribbean love isn't anywhere near strong enough to get you drunk.” Cruise himself admitted a few years later it wasn’t exactly the highlight of his career. 5% on Rotten Tomatoes. Next.