Winning the Golden Raspberry for 1983, this is a disastrous film about the unraveling of a screenwriter’s starred career, revealing the truth of how she reached the peak of her fame during an awards ceremony. Some have gone as far to say that it is the “worst film of all time”– the film poster, for example, shows a naked couple during an intimate scene, with the caption “from the sensual world of Harold Robbins comes the story of a woman’s struggle for fame in Hollywood.”
There are so many things wrong with that situation that we don’t even know where to begin. The main character, Pia Zadora cozies up to toxic men to sleep her way to the top, basically. We’re with Ebert on this one: “If The Lonely Lady had even a shred of style and humor, it could qualify as the worst movie of the year. Unfortunately, it’s not that good.”
1985: Rambo: First Blood Part II
Okay, so we’re just checking that what fans know as Rambo 2 actually won the Golden Raspberry for 1985. Damn, Wilson, you are savage. Let’s be real though – most of the time critics are looking for flawless storylines, cinematography, and hard-hitting drama. Rambo isn’t really one of those stories.
Rambo: First Blood Part II is the type of film you go and watch when you want some action. Explosions, blood, a good guy, a bad guy and (hopefully) a happy ending involving a chopper. So, despite the critics panning this one, and it receiving a Golden Raspberry, we’re sticking with Stallone and saying "Go, Rambo"!
1984: Bolero
Drum roll, please. The winner for 1984’s Golden Raspberry is…Bolero! Hollywood loves a bit of romance, so when you can add a splash of drama, it’s bound to be a hit, right? Just to be safe, they even put a conventionally gorgeous woman in there and made it about her sexual awakening.
We’ve just about had it with Hollywood – we want to see the sexual awakening of a frog, thank you very much! Anyway, the film was a flop, and enough of a flop to earn nominations for nine Golden Raspberry Awards, winning six of them. Sorry Bo Derek, but your husband John was being just a tad creepy directing a film with that kind of storyline.
1982: Inchon
Sure, the idea seemed swell. The cast seemed even better. With the cinematic presence of Laurence Olivier and the beautiful Jacqueline Bissett, all set in a war-time drama, what could possibly go wrong?
Based on the amphibious invasion of Inchon during the Korean War in 1950, the only thing that bombed was the film. With an estimated budget of $46 million, it was appallingly received, bringing in less than $2 million. As per Rotten Tomatoes, “this big-budget epic re-creation of the battle of Inchon proved too ponderous to save itself from certain death…plagued with problems.”
1981: Mommie Dearest
Ah, the inaugural year of the Golden Raspberry Awards. A biographical film, the glamorous yet lonely Joan Crawford is brought to life by Faye Dunaway. And we’re going to stop describing the film right there. All you need to know? Well, it’s succinctly put by our favorite critic, Roger Ebert.
Enjoy the following: “Mommie Dearest is a painful experience that drones on endlessly, as Joan Crawford’s relationship with her daughter..” (blah blah), “it is…depressing, not to any purpose of drama or entertainment, but just to depress. It left me feeling creepy.” Dear oh dear. Let’s skip viewing that one!